judgemental society

im so sick of being judged for everything i do in life like deciding to become a single mother, having a c section for medical reasons, or the fact i choose a sperm doner instead of adopting. stop being judgemental cunts everyone. and get on with your lives and never mind what any one else is doing unless of course it harms them or someone else.

july 10th

i am so fed up with people online being ablest. just because they dont suffer brain damage or dyslexia or a learning disability they have to act superior to every one else. it could happen to them one day and they might be struggling and they wouldnt like it to always be corrected and lectured.

mad

http://www.netmums.com/coffeehouse/the-netmums-mums-panel-251/member-requests-185/1271445-ivf-asexual-single-people-all.html some of the replies make me so mad i dont know how admin let them get away with speaking to someone. like that they dont know the situation im infertile and on my own and want a family so i think these petitions are important it used to be people were against gays getting treatment now its acceptable so why are they not more accepting its not right and im not going to get support from other asexuals either because they never seem to want children or if they do they say why not adopt well i tried that On several numerous occasions between the ages of nineteen and twenty five ANd they wouldnt let me because i was single even though it says on their leaflets they allow singles yeah only if your rich and live in a mansion even in this day and age humans are still acting like judgemental assholes

23 april

im so utterly miserable in my new house because its got thin walls for a house i thought that wouldnt happen with a house i thought that only happened with flats so i can hear my neighbours laughing coughing sneezing vomiting singing shouting at each other through walls instead of going into the room to talk to each other i can hear all sorts of noises outside so i cant do my hobbies i cant play with my dogs in my back garden because the neighbours have their dogs out side 24 7 or if they dont they let them out as soon as they see me going out side so they bark and snarl and one dog jumped over the fence and attacked my dogs i tried to get a bigger fence the neighbour said not too because he was doing it he hasnt so far i try walking my dogs i cant get peace to do that either without somoene shouting abuse at me because they know im weeker than them and i cant stand up for myself i was never any good at that i go mute because of my autism and i cant fight because i have eds tyoe 3 and my arms legs and every thing is sore and week and even without the eds i doubt i would be much good at it any way.

april 23

today i went a walk with the dog and she was doing the toilet and i didnt see what she was doing so i kept on walking because i was tired and not feeling well and wanted to go home as soon as i know i should have checked to make sure she wasnt doing a number 2 but im not perfect so i didnt bother checking then some cheeky bitch with no life except to look out her window 24/7 and see which young vernerble person she can pick on next decided to get out threaten me with putting it in my letter box when i didnt even see if my dog done a number 2 or not so i checked and she had done but this woman kept threatening me and shouting at me she didnt have to i keep bags on me all the time and that paticular time i didnt notice all she had to say was excuse me your dog did a poo could you please pick it up its not hard to be polite i did a mistake and im not perfect i didnt have to be shouted at and abused i could understand if it was someone who never picks it up on purpose all the time but i dont see her shouting at them anyway and i have seen people leave it behind loads of times i havent seen her go out and shout at them only the weeker one gets abused and shouted at any way rant over

23/4

i have noise sensory issues and i have eds type 3 which sometimes makes me fatigue and i cant sleep because of my noise sensory issues and every one being noisy and i would wear the head phones to block out the noise but i cant get comfortable with them on i cant win

prayers

These prayers of thanks are based on Romans 8, Galatians 5:1, and Philippians 1:6.

Lord I come before You, desiring to provide thanks.
Father, I have so much to be thankful for, things unseen and seen,
that You have done in my life.

Lord, mostly I am thankful for the relationship that I have with You.
Lord, You initiated this relationship, by what Your Son endeavored to accomplish,
paying the price for my sin, redeeming and reconciling me.

Dear Heavenly Father, You know the times I have been ungrateful, held ill thoughts toward You and my fellow humans. You know the times I complain and grumble about life and its circumstances, about suffering, going through what seem endless trials and tribulations. Even yielding my members to unholy deeds.

Yet God You are and always will be there with me, even when it seems like I am forever in the wilderness, running further and further from You, You, my God are there guiding me back to Your loving arms.

I am thankful Lord for everything that You allow to cross my path. Thankful for the decisions that You allow me to make and the lessons that come from these decisions.

I’m thankful, Lord, that I do not have to live under condemnation anymore, that You have truly set me free, that I am a new creation that I need not live under the law anymore. Thankful Lord that You have given me joy unspeakable. Thankful Lord that You are longsuffering, allowing me to mature in You!

Lord, words do not express my thankfulness. For Your mighty power is at work in me, transforming me, renewing my mind. To You Lord belong thanks eternal.

In Jesus’ name, amen.

These prayers of thanks are based on 1 Corinthians 2, Matthew 5 – 6, Hebrews 12:

Lord, there are marvelous things that I do not know, nor can I comprehend.
Lord, things that happen in my life, and things that happen in my friends lives.
Lord, I desire to be thankful, to appreciate everything that comes across my path.
Lord, so often life hurts, I get angry — upset, I do not understand, yet Lord You ask me to be thankful for everything, and have faith – thank You.

Lord, help me to be thankful, when the rains come on the just and the unjust, that You care so much about me, that Your to chasten, to build character and godliness in me, to be a mirrored reflection of Your Son to reach others.

Lord, I thank You for mercy, for the hunger for righteousness, for forgiveness, for purity, for providing for my needs.

Lord, I thank You for prayer, That I can come before You and call You Father.
That I can cast my burdens on You.
Lord, I thank You for my heart, the treasure and light You placed in there — the Holy Spirit.

Lord, help me to endeavor, to be thankful for everything.
Lord, it seems most of the time, what happens is about me.
Lord, I thank you that You gently remind me that the things are not about me, however, my life and what happens is more about You, Your will, and Your Kingdom.

Lord, I thank You, I praise You. Lord, in You do I find strength and courage to go on.
Lord, I thank You for the author and finisher of my faith – Jesus Christ and that in You is hope everlasting.

Lord, I thank You for the blood of Jesus, Your precious lamb.
Thank You Lord God!

In Jesus’ name, amen.

walk with the dog

i went a walk with the dog 15 march at about 15 past 7 in the morning and we went through the woods and we saw three deer drinking and i didnt move because i wanted to watch them but didnt want to scare them so i stayed still and we were quite close to them then they spotted us ad they galloped away in the woods it was magical seeing them when you dont normaly see these animals i love animals

march 18

warning rant to get this off my chest you can read or not i hate when someone posts in aspie groups on the facebook and others about how lonely they are and they need friends and every one comments likes and is sympathetic and adds them as a friend and it turns out they have a husband kids family friends a job and still no one says at least you got your husband kids family friends whatever i post about how lonely i was and i have no job no friends no partner no family no children and all i got was some people have worse and at least you have your dogs and cats i dont understand humans at all and they were cheeky and rude why is it one rule for every one else in these groups and a different rule for me also hate when people post those pictures on facebook about how you should be there for you friends through the good times and bad and they are for center people but when its me i just get called a moody whiney bitch and to grow up and i dont need your negative energy and they fall out with you but someone else is depressed and they are there for them i dont understand humans at all why cant i have friendship and a partner like every one else why do i get treated differently from others when i havent acted any different form the other humans 😦

poem i wrote

Poem I wrote

Poem about autism
When someone laughs at me
I go mute
When someone says mean things to me
I go mute
When someone is aggressive to me
I go mute
When it’s noisy and crowded
I go mute
When I’m nervous
I go mute
But…
When someone laughs with me
I laugh with them
When someone says nice things to me
I say nice things back
When someone is calm around me
I am calm too
When it’s quiet and not busy
I feel relaxed
When I’m not nervous
I can just be me

i also put this on my tumblr my tumblr is http://acelovegood.tumblr.com/